`

FLEOFROLIC

2009-08-22T16:55:00.000+08:00

my sister and her friends are the organisers of tmr's flea market.so do come down and support.see you guys there!

The exact opposite

2009-07-20T14:27:00.003+08:00

i like the color red because it lightens up my day.
i like the grade F because it represents my name.
i like coming to school late just because.

because sometimes nobody really ever care.

Dissatisfaction

2009-07-18T00:30:00.004+08:00

Sometimes i just wish that i could do much better in the things that i am doing.

Journey

2009-07-17T02:04:00.007+08:00

Because sometimes, you have to step outside of the person you've been. And remember the person you were meant to be. The person you wanted to be. The person you are.

Meaning.

2009-07-16T01:37:00.002+08:00

"Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself and know that everything in this life has a purpose."Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Remembering.

2009-07-13T23:41:00.001+08:00

6 months.

.

2009-05-31T01:16:00.002+08:00

Recently Zaha got into an accident and it really scare me to death . but thats not about it. I saw what most of us fail to see at the time of accident,at the hospital,and after being discharge. Right from the moment i called Zaha's mom to inform of the accident till the point he's at home, she'd never stop being worried about him,taking care of him every single day, crying, hoping her dear son would be doing fine recovering. Having a mom is the best thing a child could have and couldn't be replace no matter what. Everytime i went to visit Zaha i wonder who would take care of me if i ever got into accident or fall really sick. looking at how his mother take very good care of him i couln't help but question God as to why did he take away my mother away from me. but i guess that is my fate and i have to accept that.

you.

2009-05-10T11:20:00.002+08:00

just look at how proud my mum was holding us in her arms.now its just a memory.

All this while I’ve been running away from reality feeling so scared, afraid, confused. Its been over a hundred days now, and I’m still not over the fact that the most important person in my life is gone forever.
Most of the days I’m at the grave, just hoping for answers, hoping that I could at least feel your presence. I am only left with frustration because I can’t feel you.

Happy mother’s day to all who have a mom.

When everyday is a struggle

2009-03-02T10:38:00.002+08:00

I remember this day very well.13012009. When she asked to be seated, we all though she is on the road to recovery, that things could eventually get better,. this picture seems to be the last photographic moment with mom. That night, she passed away. Up till now, I have still yet to fully recover from the loss. People say that this will take time, but what they don’t know is that the scar is for life. Death is not temporary; the feelings of losing the most important one in your life won’t go away.

"after you left , everyday is a struggle. I miss your presence at home, mom. Do you miss me? Almost each and passing day I visit you, mom. Can you see me? I cried on your grave. Can you hear me? All I wanted was to see your smile, hear your voice again, feel the unconditional love of yours towards me, the warmth of your hug. Is that too much that im asking for? I never know the meaning of appreciation before, sometimes I even forget to say thank you when you sacrificed so much. Never got the chance to say how much I love you, that you mean the world to me. Why couldn’t I be a better son when you’re around? "
No matter how hard I try now, I know for sure things will never be the same again without you.

A prayer and a dream.

2009-02-01T16:41:00.002+08:00

you came into my dream,

i need you.

2009-01-30T23:05:00.000+08:00

Throughout this period of almost 3 weeks since you left us, I struggle to get over the fact that you are forever gone, that you are now buried 9 feet under. I have been going to the grave for almost every day because I want to feel you. I want you to know how much I love you and how much I miss your presence. You took care of me for the past 18 ½ years of my life, how am I suppose to just forget you? Most of the days I would go out with friends to try and ease the ache, but when I’m alone I am afraid. Every single day I always hope that you would come into my dream, so that I could feel your unconditional love once again. I miss your kisses on my cheeks and forehead every time I went out. If you love us so much then why’d you have to go? Who is there to love me as much as you do, now that you are gone?

The Matilda Experience

2008-10-19T10:25:00.002+08:00

Project Matilda was a success.despite the alarm that tries to scare us off and the fence,we did like what any other teenagers would do,take the risk and climb!climb!climb!
went there with zaha,sempoi,alif,hafiz,boon and was later joined by hadi.

after tt we headed down to boon's hse and ordered canadian pizza.are we hungry or whutttt?coz there are not even a slice left.hahahahauhauehuao

to sum it up,it was an awesome saturday well spent.the rest of the photos will be up in DA in the next few days,so watch out yo!

that party in school

2008-10-18T10:14:00.003+08:00

although at first it was not that awesome,it turns out pretty well,esp at the dance floor *kening naek2*

some of the gay moments i had.we kissed and we cummed.haha lol.

after looking back at the photos,now i knw why some ppl scream when i creep onto them.no wonder the movie title "scream" is called "scream".hahaha scary siolzxxzx!
i will update more when my fingers yearn to.

and todayyy,,,,going to matilda hse to take photos.this is gonna be awesome.collaboration with sempoi.the most awesomeness of all photo manipulator. =D

2008-10-10T14:34:00.000+08:00

will update soon!

2008-10-08T15:35:00.001+08:00

whoahhh!i actually update wohhh.it is just too awesome.

finally...

2008-10-01T23:40:00.004+08:00

...after 30 days of fasting -_-"
now my tummy is getting bigger again.
hari raya is a great day to check on M.I.L.F.aahhhh~~a loike.
hehheheheheheehohaehaaheuahahu kk enough said,i knw you guys made many mistake to me,so what are you waiting for?christmas isit?

i am i am i am i am

2008-09-25T14:53:00.002+08:00

happy bday to you maira!see,i didnt forget yr bday ^^
so nice of me,i know.i even type this during presentation
da lama tak hang out together.class sama level pon tak jumpa.hang out soon yo yo yoyoy yo yoy yoy oy yoy oy yoyoy yooy yooy yo yoy

Fuck it

2008-09-17T15:33:00.002+08:00

6,470,818,671 people in the world,

2008-09-14T00:14:00.000+08:00

all you need is one.

and i hope you...

2008-09-10T23:17:00.001+08:00

wish me luck tomorrow.

it would mean the world to me.

plane ride

2008-09-02T12:44:00.002+08:00

its the only second day of fasting mth ,and i can feel my tummy grumbling so badly...so fucking badly. -_-"

when you're looking like that by ~anxx on deviant ART

the ballad of serenity by ~anxx on deviant ART

i saw a sunshine covering up the patches

2008-08-23T01:08:00.005+08:00

im starting to wear off.i'd say this week is over for me,but then again,it's just an hour past saturday.how i wish time and again the clock would tick a minute slower so that i could catch up on everything i could.im living in a mad mad world where everything is a race against time.the world has everything invented except time machine,so plzxzxz,citizens of the world,produce another Einstein,or Newton or Newstein or whatever the name should be.go,have sex,make babies that have the brains of that.and when time machine is unveiled,time would be the preciously worthless 24 hours of your life.

talking about time,which equals to money,im almost as good as broke. im working at starbucks nw,so money should not be that much of a prob anymore.its been a rough patch of time without money.it feels so great to be working again,in yet another vibrant atmosphere.

i have many old stuffs yet to be uploaded,there is still more to come.i have been taking photos,but never uploading that many.i have up to 30+ folders of photo i have yet to edit and upload to DA,so keep on looking out.

take me away from me by ~anxx on deviant ART

i want it that way

2008-08-19T23:17:00.003+08:00

thats just the way it is.

blow blow blow

2008-08-13T15:46:00.002+08:00

i've been spending the last 2 after-school days with these ppl and they're such horny ppl! XD
monday we had seesha and lotsa food.on tuesday CC brought his aunt's car and we went to watch the love guru,a hilarious cum lame cum horny movie.i give it 4.3/5. B.L.O.W.M.E
damn!hahaha watch the movie and you'll know what i mean ;)

______________
its the end of the semester,and sch's over.goodbye dear classmates.i'll upload all the pics and thoughts in pmk in the coming days =)

2008-08-11T23:17:00.000+08:00

i will update tmr bcoz im fuggin tired and having a big headache today

NDP and a catch up

2008-08-10T18:39:00.004+08:00

despite the drizzle,NDP was a blast,esp towards the end.it was a far cry from the preview show.it was 20 million times much more better.the fireworks,the marina wave etc etc and also bcoz i brought Renee along.Renee is my 70-300mm lens fyi.let da pics do some crapping.all the photos are captured in EOS 400D.

after the show,met up with maira,fad and megat.its been a while since we hanged out.we ate subway like pigs and chilled at the padang before fana came.hanged out and catch the last train bcoz who wants to waste 3bucks on NR?

today is sunday and for the whole day my ass got bigger coz of staying at hm.i gt no money left,tts the reason why i couldnt go out.i just burned 200bucks for the "voucher".i cant wait to start work and make coffees again. =)

bad runs gone dry

2008-08-09T12:22:00.004+08:00

week 16,and 2 more days to go.im gg to miss my pmk class.
our faci's have been really great,esp david chan.

things are gg on really well of late,to my surprise.
-Traffic Police test:18 september
-new job(shall only tell when i start working)
-and for today,NDP parade live

great things coming ahead after a series of bad run.made in heaven.

stitches

2008-08-07T22:08:00.002+08:00

whhoahh i had the most panic! at the disco day in sch today.

one way or another

2008-08-03T17:54:00.002+08:00

well,i cant say im the busiest man in the whole world,coz am surely not.but things around me keeps me spinning and spinning so fast that i dont really have time for anything.i have so many things going on lately,it is really tiring,but it feels so good.things have not been going so smooth these past weeks.i have lots of things left unpaid,undone.its a challenge for me,and i like it.this way it keeps me moving forward,knowing that every day is one day closer to a deep hole.

i cant wait to be a barista again.i miss making cappuccino and latte.

IGNITE=FUCKING AWESOME!

2008-07-26T23:53:00.005+08:00

yes,make no mistake about it,IGNITE was fucking awesome.too awesome to be put in words.i met so many ppl.Afee,Kitty,Aisyah,Fifa,Dan,Nabeel and friends,ppl from msl,classmates,sch ppl;too many to mention.the moshing was awesome.is there other synonyms coz i used too much "awesome" already.hot girls everywhere.*kening naek2*
the only prob i have is whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy they put PlainSunset first?why bodo nyer organiser.

we went as a class

can you see Jon Chan?hohohoho i still cant believe they put Plainsunset the first band.i was disappointed nobody moshed during Johari Window and Girl On Queen Street.halfway through the set,zaha,sempoi,hafiz,alif came and we set the pit rolling.i love the sing-a-long part through River Song.it was ooohhh-laaaa-laaaa~~

candid siolzxzx

snap2

who is that pretty lady at the front *kening naek2*

chop2

the MC hug me siolzxzxzx,and after that she asked me to suck her boobs and lick her pussy.i rejected,of course.hahahahahhaha

at the end of the day,i look like a bangla who have just finished digging a grave.hohoh

it is one in a million that bands like plainsunset and caracal comes crashing to yr school.so,opportunities like this,we must not take for granted,even when the security grab you by the hand and take you away XD

the time in anti-clockwise

2008-07-21T23:30:00.003+08:00

i was looking through my email,wanting to clear up the hundreds of junks in my inbox and i found this picture.it was dated back last yr when me and classmates took a trip to rp.damn,i look so much thinner then,compared to now.

the picture above forced me to open up my secondary sch picture folder.haha actually i wanted to.i remember having a crush on this relief teacher.at that time she was hot,coz she's not wearing a uniform.if you ask me now,she's not that hot anymore.well,actually she is.

it's been a long time since i last saw haikal.the guy whose drumming skills is like wohhhhh powerr.

the ppl below here are my former classmates.they're funny ppl who dont really care about studies.all we do is go around giving problems like stealing keyboards and showing fake dicks and end up getting caned.

i really miss dnt times.especially during practical.we tend to take excess woods and turn them into for eg,below, a grave.and it is also the best time to catch up on sleep.

i miss the fun times during secondary sch days.sometimes i wish i could turn back time and stop the clock from ticking to be on that moment forever.of course,i do love being in RP,but you cant deny that the secondary sch days are yr best.

where are you,$$?

2008-07-20T23:10:00.003+08:00

a lot of things happened this week yet so little time to update

watched The Dark Knight on thurs for thnx to raini and her friend.it was awesome to the highest degree.i give 2 thumbs up with a rating of 4.7/5.

before that i had motor prac 6.1,which is on the road.awesome siolzxzxzxxzx lagi sikit nk terlanggar kerete,but still managed to pass and move on to 6.2 ^_^

on sat,which is yest,went to Block parrtaaayyyyyy. PlainSunset was as fab as everrrrr,cant wait for Ignite next sat at RP yo.

i went to jobhunt today.its like nbcb living with tight budget over cash.i neeeeddd moneyyyyyyyy to pay for my voucher,my debts,my prac,.its gonna be a hard hard month.suddenly,money wins over me.

hide and seek

2008-07-18T15:57:00.002+08:00

"I give it to you not that you may remember time,but that you might forget it now and then for a moment and not spend all your breath trying to conquer it."
William Faulkner

____________________

lucky number 13

2008-07-05T23:30:00.002+08:00

i started the day at 8.15am,hoping to pass my prac 5 assesment.i got 10 points but i failed bcoz of one immediate failure.feeling so annoyed,i retook the test again,and this time,doing the test in heavy rain.i thought it would be 3rd time unlucky,in the end i passed. =)
after that,i went to ndp preview with raini,courtesy of my mom.she participated in this year's ndp and for that i have free tix.the early part of the show was kinda lame,i yawned many times.

the black knights

fucking awesome,hohohoh

llwmiyzzzzzzxzxzx

there are pri 5 students to witness the event too.i'd wish i could sandwich myself in between the crowd of them,coz they're so enthusiast and loud.nighttime,its when the atmosphere rose.

this is the part where ppl goo ahhh~~~~ohhh~~~~`

hahha lol ah kau

part of the performance

more oohhh~~ and ahhh~~~

i didnt realize where my hands are gg.hahah

told ya

end of story.
_____________________________________________________
_________________________________________________-----
are we not going to do anything about this feeling,
_____________________________________________________

suckerpunch

2008-06-29T23:31:00.003+08:00

supp,i've been longing to blog,but the start of pmk juicy blog makes me abandon this blog for a moment.

i had a fun + lame time gg out with raini.hahha we are superr lame.i think even lame ppl would be embarrassed by our lameness.hohohoho.

and estella,do take care of my baby.im sure you'd have a great time with her =)

2008-06-25T22:34:00.002+08:00

im tired,im tired and im tired.
i didnt knw there's UT today.so i slept until 10.thats when ben called me,asking why i never came for UT. -_-'' thnx ehh.hahahahah.
im booking for prac every single earliest session i could get,and so far this week its as good as everyday,so i have to sacrifice sch by either coming late of not coming at all,like today.i want to pass PT by late july or early aug.so,i can have my daily life back to norm.things have gone quite fast for now,im in prac 3 now in less than 2 weeks,wahh best2.

in between love and lost

2008-06-23T23:58:00.002+08:00

waiting to be destined by ~anxx on deviant ART

_____________________________
lately i find gg to class at 11am a habit.and i think i'll do it as a norm coz i feel more energetic if i come at 11 rather than 9.penat ah aku dengan system skola yg tak munasabah ini.chey mcm paham.ok ppl,go to sleep now.go gog gog go gog gog go gog la gonggong

i ran away for the reason of non

2008-06-20T23:31:00.002+08:00

i keep running and running away,only to realize that i have been the one doing this,not others.

on a diff note,i feel so tired today.taking a license while schooling is harder than i thought,and it doesn't help when you're schooling in RP,where you just waste yr 9am-4.30pm of yr weekday life slacking around and learning nothing at all,except the WOHH! stuffs(you know what i mean XD ).you just ask any rp student,they will nod their heads in agreement without any hesitation .and traveling to YCK for prac is another thing.lucky the prac is awesome.bottom line,dont go to RP,if you

1)want to study hard
2)dont want a constant timetable
3)are a serious person

but i am non of the above except for the second,so RP is the best place for me.

the heart has reasons which reasons not know of

2008-06-18T21:36:00.005+08:00

There is no remedy to this by ~anxx on deviant ART

how long would we wait before one puts his life away?

heading sky high

2008-06-15T23:27:00.002+08:00

you rise above me,just because.

and as you can see..

2008-06-14T20:46:00.002+08:00

i just enrolled for motor license,and it starts this coming tuesday.

it's like beating the dead

2008-06-13T21:37:00.003+08:00

i went up to the hill just chill alone.and while waiting for the sunset,i took some shots with my old but new lens.i bought it few mths back but have yet to make full use of it until today.i captured these 2 below with my 70-300mm lens.

now i know why ppl like to take nature of photos.it is when the sun is setting that makes the color and tone amazing.

the macro is awesome to the power of 10.combined with the lighting,it produce really great photo.lucky for me,i brought a tripod along.if not my shaky hands would permanently spoil the beau.hah!

playing with lights.

i sat down quietly,down with my ciggs and my writing book,some sort of journal.i heard the sound of silence.im beginning to get used to silence.it always keeps ringing in my head.

tomorrow excites me.im going to register for motor license.my parents,esp my mom,have been really supportive,even asking me to register on the day i turned 18 itself.

and pretty much,that sums up my 2 wks holiday.cant wait to go back to sch and meet my crazy-ass classmates.

another day,another year

2008-06-10T23:05:00.002+08:00

im legal today.

you knw,sth made me smile.it made me feel young again suddenly.it has been ages since .thnx raini,maira,feeqa,shila for the birthday song,though you guys are at camp and past 12.i felt touched when i heard the voices.i didnt expect that.

on this day i wish for happiness.thats all im asking for. =)

Susan Pevensie,my fictional princess

2008-06-08T23:50:00.006+08:00

as you can see,ppl enjoy jumping.they just cannot stand still.hahahahah.

watched chronicles of narnia with them.i rate the movie 4.9/5.you know where the 0.1 of the rating goes to?

it goes to the part where my girlfriend,Susan Pevensie(above), kissed Prince Caspian.im so sad,my girlfriend cheated my feelings sia.because of that,sorry,i couldn't give a perfect 5 star for this movie.

and after the movie went to cbtl.wahhh i miss the place,ok,actually i just came there to steal some food. =)

__________

and to sum up for the week,,,,

deep devotedness of woe by ~anxx on deviant ART

three pose of the earth by ~anxx on deviant ART.

happy holidays,ppl. =)

thirty-8

2008-06-04T22:42:00.003+08:00

can you hear it?

can you hear the sound?

can you hear the sound of the silence?

can you hear the sound that defeats the whispers?

can you hear it?

today,i heard it.

prefix it

2008-06-02T23:28:00.002+08:00

your whole life is ahead of you if you have big plans.but as you get older,you realized it is always not that easy.it is not until the end of life that you realized that plans are just plans.at the end when you're looking back,and not forward,you would want to believe what you leave behind is safe in the hands,and you would want it all to have mattered.

i am scared of facing it

2008-05-31T23:31:00.002+08:00

i cant face the world anymore by ~anxx on deviant ART

time crisis

2008-05-30T23:54:00.003+08:00

sch's term break started,and i just hope i'll get a job.muahahahahahahh,and hopefully,with these two ppl along. =)

What you want is for me to let go

2008-05-28T23:12:00.002+08:00

close your eyes and think of things that excites you the most.paint over my words so you can start writing yours.do not be afraid,starting over is not as hard as you think it is.

you've been warned.

2008-05-26T23:03:00.002+08:00

okay,guys,are you ready?haha im sure you horny people are. =)

you know,having the biggest boobs in the world have advantages and disadvantages.

advantage:
1)there is no need for a pillow anymore,you have 2 big ones,remember?
2)lifetime supply of free milk for the whole family,maybe country even.
3)can use your boobs as a table

disadvantage:
1)i don't know how this can fit into a coffin
2)im sure as you grow older the boobs will hang saggy-ly at the tummy
3)i don't know how this can fit into a coffin,again.

sometimes i wonder how many hands does it need to cover the whole thing.LOL.

of all places,the best yet.

2008-05-25T14:56:00.002+08:00

yest was supposed to be finding a new job for the weekends,but maira decided to go mustapha centre.turns out to be great,despite the whole place filled up with,you knw.i think that is the most under-rated place you could shop with a friend.ppl,next time you want to shop with friends,you should stop gg to town and come down to mustapha.i tell you,you wont regret,.but pls,bring along a mask ;) XD.it's like a teh peng day yest.maira drank 3 and i drank 2.makkau sedap gilerr nye.i bought myself a tripod to the yay-ness! of me.maira,should ask your sms lover to buy you the iphone.hahahahaha speaking of which,i want to get myself a new hp.

petals and roses.

2008-05-22T23:19:00.001+08:00

A garden in her face. by ~anxx on deviant ART

we play creep and sneak.

2008-05-19T16:47:00.003+08:00

yesterday was the most tiring but the best sunday ever.benjamin gave me,raini and chong ching the best movie treat ever by sneaking us into the 2nd and 3rd movie for free.ok,though the 3rd movie was only the last part of iron man.hahaha the whole experience of sneaking was breathtaking that my heart almost popped out.ben gave us a smelly blanket and guess what,a popcorn inside a plastic bag!

and ohh "what happens in vegas" is an awesome movie.go catch it."made of honor" is for the ones who loves romantic stories.dnt ask me about ironman coz i slept the movie out.after the movie ended at ard 2.30am,me and raini chilled at macD with our laptop while waiting for the first train to come.ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh~~~ im fucking tired now,still.and still,after this maybe im gg to town to meet up with the beanies.wahhhhh can die die die die die die die die die di ei diei die die di id ie die die di edie id edie die di eid ei die di ei die die id eid ei dieid.

15 bucks and you're high.

2008-05-17T23:34:00.004+08:00

went out with beanies again and went to haji lane for a session of sheesha.it's like a catch up moment for us to chill the night out.went there with maira,met megat,farhana and fad there at bugis.

the sweats of the chicken and the cow turn us on.it really did!we were waiting for the food for so damn long and we made the joke "ni mesti masih tgh tangkap ayam kat blakang.rase peluh sedap comfirm masih ade" hahaha we actually ate quite a lot considering farhana ordered a whole chhix.fuhhhhh the tender sweat and the saliva of the chix is so nice yumyum.XD

and then we chilled with sheesha and ciggs.wonderful chilling night,too bad i cant post my pics all here.as per norm,the large pic size made it damn hard to upload.even these two pics took me hours to upload.of course i will try to upload more pics.and beanies,if you want the pics,thumbdrive plssszsszzzzzssszzzzz hahaha ok done.

let's play dare.

2008-05-17T23:34:00.003+08:00

im updating the pics of today's outing maybe on monday.coz im too tired to update today and i'll have a busy tomorrow.so monday blues maybe.COMFIRM.wakakakakakakakakkakaa

in between,its written in dots.

2008-05-16T23:35:00.003+08:00

forever............................................................
...................................................................
...................................................................
...................................................................
...................................................................
...................................................................
...................................................................
...................................................................
...................................................................
...................................................................
...................................................................
...................................................................
..........and always.

Crash Course.

2008-05-14T23:36:00.002+08:00

we are the engineer of our own lives.

the face have died.

2008-05-13T22:36:00.003+08:00

Human face divine. by ~anxx on deviant ART

idk why nowadays im active in deviantart.maybe its because im too free nowadays.heh.and yes,of course,im always-ever-promoting my own work.because i have big dreams to achieve.i want to be recognized(everybody wants that,dont deny)and i cant achieve that by not promoting myself.so,if you can,help me promote my work.i'd love it. =)

_______

and TODAY....

in sch,my chest cramped many times.coz benjamin and chong ching break my heart dont want to wait 5 mins.hahahahahahahahhahaahoeehaoheaehaoeaheoah k lame.but seriously,im aching to meet.

LLWMIY.rainigiler.com.sg.my.au.org.lol
ok random.hahahaha

Click it,if you forget your head.

2008-05-11T20:50:00.003+08:00

Baby,did you forget your head? by ~anxx on deviant ART

yummielicious.

2008-05-08T23:12:00.003+08:00

today's UT test is like cheeeeebye.you knw,even cheeeeeebye is easier to note.

_______________________________________
and the last part came crashing.

designated,it happens always.

2008-05-07T22:46:00.001+08:00

Perhaps we all give the best of our hearts uncritically to those who hardly think about us in return.

birthday girl and a gay boy.

2008-05-06T21:56:00.003+08:00

Yesterday.

we as a class celebrated celestine's bday.hakim bought the cake and we throw her a surprise belated bday partayyy.

the guys

as a whole.

_________

Today.

nth really happen today.except the fact that today's module(cognitive) is getting deeper and deeper and confusing but interestingly exciting.im getting more and more into cognitive and culture.

and ohhh,i did'nt take the very first Understanding test due to waking up late.if not for benjamin calling,haha i would'nt have even come to sch.

and i've updated deviantart.

Four eyes and a listening ear. by ~anxx on deviant ART

the reason why i woke up late-besides talking to ben on the phone at 12 am.LOL.-i spent hours at photoshop editing this latest work. =)

are you falling for it again?

2008-05-04T22:57:00.003+08:00

remind me to update when i feel like updating. =)

beanie,without a bean.

2008-05-01T23:54:00.004+08:00

i had such fun going out with fellow beanies today.the pic i'll upload tml.ahahahahaha
UPDATED.

ok go!

The Terminated(s) and Aslinda

me,mai,fad memaifad memaifad

wow i think i look hotttt

beanies,yo.

sorry i cant post more than 5 pics .it will take forever considering the size of each photo.hahahahaha ok next friday comfirm ehhh!

and we went to wheelock to chill there.when it was time to bid goodbye,we all know how sad aslinda is not having us working there anymore.halfway through the walk,we turned back and saw aslinda wiping her tears off her face,even though there is a customer at the counter.at the mrt,she sent me 4 consecutive msgs.

"thanx 4 ur hardwork n support..im so sori 4 ur leaving n no matter wat happen i always rmber u n take care,keep in touch"

"any problems do call me,im always there 4 u :-)"

"Im going 2 miss u nd ur jokes..do drop by as i always welcome u"

"Tried my very best 2 save u guyz but i failed :-(..sorry 2 let u down :-("

it made me sad reading the msgs,i can only imagine how dark her life is in right now.having 4 of your baristas terminated at one go is hard to accept especially considering of how tight our bond is.but thats how working life is.politicking exists.our survival depends on how the managers control their EQ.sadly,this outlet is riddled by problems that would most likely see all the current baristas sealing the same fate in 2 or 3 mths time.

the show must go on.

2008-05-01T03:36:00.003+08:00

currently listening to please dont stop the music and it so reminds me of awai.

i am so gonna miss you .

"maira, listen, anything happens, you take good care for yourself and the show must go on"

that was his last words to me just now. ))):

______________________________________________________-

i read this from maira's blog the day before,not knowing what the situation was as now im only working only once a week.i thought awai was in hospital or sth.

okay,now expect the unexpected.me,along with 3 managers,and 3 other baristas have been immediately terminated.on my mind lies so many question.i could'nt figure out even a single clue on what happened last sunday(i didnt work) has got to do with me.
i went to work as per usual just now not knowing i was terminated until i reached the outlet.i was speechless.everyone in there was shocked by the decision of (i cant name him) to terminate the whole bunch of us.it made the whole day blunt,as if someone had died.Aslinda was crying trying to save me,rhazmie and ija from the sack.i didnt see it coming.

for my case,why now?2 mths ago,a similar scenario happened where megat and affien got terminated.it was a low key moment for us all, we tried to be optimistic and think all of the chapters of the darkest moment have been closed.but 2 mths later,which is now, the story leaked and for that,the ones involved got the sack.one word.UNBELIEVABLE.

what happened?i wont tell you ppl openly, coz this would portray a bad face of cbtl wheelock.this is far much worse than the Feb incident.im still in shock of my exit.

to the beanies,i really enjoyed working with all of you.i had a great time with you ppl,and i never regret knowing all you ppl.its been such fun and,like what i've blogged yest,good things never last.and,like what awai told you maira,the show must go on.pls2 dont follow the suit and quit as a whole, okay?

i still love wheelock place,coz thats where i call home.

suddenly,so sudden.

2008-04-29T21:26:00.004+08:00

it seemed like a bday bonanza,and pop!here goes.happy birthday to former beanies,megat and jerine.come back to the outlet when you're free,yo.
and former classmate,emil.stay prettttt-tttyyyy as always.hahahahahaha
happy birthday to the trio of you.Have a great time ahead.i miss you guys as a whole. =)

fun times.like what people say,good things never last.

picture dated august 2006.hah.

talking about missing the former classmates,here are the people:

the happy hours.

i miss so many ppl at the moment.hahaha i feel so gay,but ohhh well.

birthday mama.

2008-04-28T23:19:00.002+08:00

AANNNDDDDDDD,happy (cannot insert number here coz she is old but young)b'day Aslinda!gee,if you're wondering who's this lady is,she is my manager at cbtl.ahhhhahaha its been hell of a great time having you as my manager.i'll see you when i work this wed. =)

boost like a rocket.

2008-04-26T13:30:00.003+08:00

overall,i think i have been improving on my daily grades of late.aikkk hahaa it feels so fun funnier and funniestesesesesesest.the first week was a total whore.i got 4C's and 1B.second week i got 4B's and a C which is a big2 improvement.and this week i scored 3B,1A and 1C.nyehehee but it really does'nt matter at all.what matters the most is when you have the best of the best people around you which is the ppl of E37M =)

dont blame my fingers,they are tired.

2008-04-24T23:32:00.002+08:00

oiii update lahhh.
k lame.hahahaahahaahheehauahuehaeaoeaeaeohhhoaheeheeheuheauheao.com.sg.my.au

the three musketeers.

2008-04-23T22:22:00.003+08:00

and what im gonna share with you ppl today is a WOW!haha after sch,went to watch the 3 musketeers(maira,raini,afiqah) play floorball in a friendly match against MI.makkkkkkkkkkkau,you would have guessed it was gonna be a tight scoreline but RP won 48-2.hahaaahahahahahaa terkejut kann?i lost count of how many maira scored.bagus gilleerrr nnye.anw,good luck to the trio of you guys.comfirm dpt selected nyerr. =) XD ;)

and raini ooiii!rokok aku manerrrr?!?!?!!LLWMIY btol uh kau.kwang3.

the thing that makes your world spinning like a yo-yo.

2008-04-21T23:56:00.004+08:00

the place where it hurts the most..

but why and how,i wonder,people do still fall in love?coz we all know that love is never absolute.you can never say forever coz you never know what lies in the future.but why people are still falling for this game of chance?i wonder,i wonder what makes love.is it in the eyes?or is it down,deep inside the heart?it's a tacit feeling one can never explain,what it feels like. how many 'i love you' have we all said in our lives?

no,this post is not about me,but the people around me.im done with this thing called love.ahhhahaahaha.its not worth at this point of time.

2008-04-20T14:08:00.000+08:00

web cam can whore you.

2008-04-18T22:23:00.003+08:00

READ THIS BEFORE SCROLLING DOWN!
THE PICTURES BELOW HERE ARE RESULTS OF WEB-CAM-WHORING.i knw,we people just love to web-cam-whore.in short,WCW.ok go!

have you been on a roller coaster ride?

faces of the class

part 2

behind me are ppl who are doing their presentation.LOL.

haha.we just dont care.

benjamin's post-sex face.ahahaha

THIS IS...

WHAT WE CALL...

WEB-CAM-WHORING!

my team on every Friday.

this is what we do on celestine's cool webcam effects =)

our chins are so stretchable

ahh suresh!although in gym you work out mre than me my muscle are way bigger than yours!haha

what ever happened to my head?

they say,a picture is worth a thousand words,how many is 15 worth?hahaaohehoeh k lame.class today have been aweaweaweaweawwwwww-some.haha we played musical chair.idk when is the last time i played that.and at 18,this is the best musical chair game ever.kwang3.and ehh raini,aku menang kau ehh racing tadi.WMIY. <-- only lame ppl knw what this means ;) =) XD

Ticking clock.

2008-04-17T23:48:00.003+08:00

Open it up and see the hollow holes

every path has its tellings,we were never promised that the path that we take would be fair.

people around makes the world spin

2008-04-15T22:15:00.003+08:00

today was fun,fun,fun.!after sch,went to the sch gym with suresh and tarmizi.i kinda not remember the last time since i stepped into the gym.and then we go to the lib and play pool.it was fun you knw.and then was joined by afiq,maira and kyn.and kitty came too soon after.made new friends too,over at the cafe,which will be the new chilling corner.ahh,life's so fun nowadays.ok go!

Cognitive made me like this.

2008-04-14T22:51:00.001+08:00

boohoohohohohhohohoooooodo you know what i knw?

the number 200,its like anniversary.

2008-04-12T16:36:00.003+08:00

and now...for my 200th post.

hahahouheheo i did'nt realize that this is my 200th post until 5 seconds ago.

yest was my first time working at cbtl wheelock after almost 2 weeks of hiatus.haha maira danced in the outlet as soon as she stepped in.it is like forever since i last worked.and during break,i ate 2 pasta beef goulash.no wonder my tummy seems to be getting rounder everyday.i wonder when the baby is going to be delivered -_-'

E37M,awesome.

2008-04-11T23:36:00.003+08:00

wow,wow,and WOW.its a breathtaking week you knw,with everything and anything going on.especially the highlight of the week,which is school.i'd say,its just been a fantastic week knowing all the retards in my class.ahahx,they're cool ppl and though its just the start of sch,i can already feel the comfort of being with these ppl.

wahahaha i always wanted to look like E.T,at last it's granted.

ahh shit!my eyesss!

LOL-ness

And we're the Marvel Superheroes

____________________________________________________

i miss you but i dont know who you are but i think i knw you but what if i dont knw you and miss you but somewhere inside i knw you but i dont knw you coz i dont think you knw me but i think you knw me but we dont knw each other but i think i miss you coz i know you which i knw you dont knw me coz i dont really knw you but we've met but do i konw who you are and do you knw who i am coz i dont really knw you that much but i think i knw who you are coz we have spoken words which i dont knw makes us knw each other but i think i really do but do you think that we can knww each other just by talking i dont knw how to knw you coz you dont knw me but knwing you have made me knw me and i knw you knw me but do we knw who we are coz i dont knw thats why im asking but if you knw and you miss me pls tell me coz i am dying to knw that and if i knw it means that you knw and we knw and that would make it easier but in the first place what makes me knw what i knw?make any sense?

okay it only takes me 3 mins to type this i knw you knw thing.ahahaha so i dont even knw what im typing.-_-
i dont knw how many knw did i write including this knw.
i learn this from the lesson"Do you knw what you really know?"

tonight is the night.

2008-04-08T21:59:00.003+08:00

tonight is the night by ~anxx on deviant ART

and i had a shot with kitty 2 days ago.check out more okay. =)

______________

these past few days have been pretty hectic of late.but,but,it is really fun.i have a really great bunch of friends in my new class.new beginnings,it does'nt get any better than this. ;)

2008-04-06T23:09:00.002+08:00

ooooo

project:pollution

2008-04-05T14:44:00.003+08:00

last thurs went phototaking for fir's big project.enjoy some of these:

will update caption later.kinda lazy for now.it will be continued this sunday i think.its not done yet.

note.

2008-04-05T03:42:00.004+08:00

the third day of RP orientation was aaawweeeesssooommmmeee.com.sg sia.i should have come prepared with a camera to take pictures with all the wackiest people alive.they're all crazy ppl.idk ,maybe they're from planet mars.the leapfrog world record event was a highlight.and although SEG cheering was the lamest of all(SEG is Engineering sch,which is my sch) the whole day was packed with actions.made many new friends along the way,it was a day to remember. =) =) =)

and kitty is such an adorable cat.i just feel like pinching your cute face ;)

first day on another planet.

2008-04-02T22:59:00.003+08:00

ahh,hell,today feels so good,you knw.even though,at some point of time,i do feel a lil bit awkward coz i spend 5 whole long years in marsiling sec,going to school wearing uniform,now it really feel like a whole new.i got my ez-lik just nw,and i appear to be fat in the pic.nabei,i think they edit my face using photoshop.haha.i think i must get my tummy worked out,coz i seriously have no idea how to hide it anymore.it just gets bigger and bigger.am i pregnant?maybe.kwang3. -_-

and so,im dozing myself to bed now,i can't sleep,but i'll try.maybe i'll have to masturbate first to make myself feel tired.i think 95% of the guys population did that if they have prob sleeping,just like me.girls,ask your boyfriend.im sure they'll deny it just to make you feel happy. =) XD ;)

insomnia.

2008-03-31T16:16:00.003+08:00

nowadays,i can't seem to sleep at night,and it's a reverse to a few month back,when i had problem keeping myself awake late night.and today,i think i left ppl feeling frustrated waiting for me.how selfish i am.but it's a problem i cant avoid now.just sp you knw,sorry sempoi.

and today,when i woke up(okay i just woke up),awai msged me saying that i worked at 6pm.bt i dont knw if im gg or nt coz i did'nt even write schedule for this week.maybe.maybe not.

worth vs fight

2008-03-30T23:36:00.003+08:00

do you live your life daily fighting for what is worth?
and as you grow all,you see yourself in the cold,wondering is it really worth fighting over?look at what we all have become.what we are now is what we fight for in our lives yesterday.

2008-03-28T23:56:00.002+08:00

attempt to be oneself.

2008-03-26T04:58:00.002+08:00

" There comes a time when every life goes off course. In this desperate moment you must choose your direction. Will you fight to stay on the path while others tell you who you are? Or will you label yourself? Will you be honored by your choice? Or will you embrace your new path? Each morning you choose to move forward or to simply give up."

all tragic no magic.

2008-03-22T23:25:00.003+08:00

The bird falls in silence.

everytime,it ends like this.

Don't ever say what you never mean.

2008-03-18T09:55:00.003+08:00

i seriously have no time for you anymore,aanis.if you want to use my tagboard as a propaganda to tell ppl what kind of guy i am,go ahead.there's no use coz ppl knw who i am.and ppl knw you are the kind when you dont like that particular someone,you make up stories of them.we are two diff person,that is.i dont judge you before i knw you.even tho i heard stories of you before i even knw you,i nvr really trust them until i got to knw you,the real one,which is when i got to knw,what ppl said are true.even your best friends tell me what kind of guy you are.so this leads to a conclusion.

1)many ppl are talking behind your back,so dont go ard and threaten ppl you're gonna kick their ass,coz you're not.so,save your drama.

2)there's no point in this.all you have done so far is spam my tagboard,which i dont mind,even when you have gone too far in your words.only girls do this,as far as i knw.

3)if you remembered when you called me and apologised to me on 28 dec 07 for saying all the things that you dont mean ,i still have the recording in my hp.you sounded remorseful and pathetic in the convo.and you said sorry many times,and that you wont talk big again.unless you want me to spread it ard via bluetooth to everyone,better stop your playact.you wont want to be further embarrassed,right?

when will you learn.

2008-03-17T02:34:00.003+08:00

and now im having a go at G again.wonder who this G is?G is short for GAY,maybe GUNDU,or GHANDI.and this guy,whose real name is aanis,or maybe anus loves to open his mouth and say what he does'nt mean.,or should i say,he lives in a life full of crap.this is the guy who have been threatening to beat me up in front my my parents.life can be full of fantasies,but ohh,stop yours coz i wonder,have you beaten up anyone before?from what i knw,you are always being bullied by others.i heard that you drink ppl's pee when you're drunk.and before you start calling me a wanker,look at your own self.you used to be a hip-hopper freak,turning to become a matrep,before you set yourseld on skate.is'nt that what wankers do?haha,you're so funny.here's something i gotta share with all of you guys so you ppl wont be scared of this G.

Yesterday,he called me at ard 12 am in the morning.this is the convo.

G:hello pussyboy.besok kau kerje?

me:kerje.sape ni?

G:ohh

me:ohh G eh?

G:kau kerje tak?

me:kau nk carik aku dtg je uh.

and then he msged me."the big day tmrw.Lets see. =)"

today at work,i waited and waited and waited and waited.frustrated,i asked irya to call G.

irya:Farhan tanye,kau dtg tak?

G:aku mane tau die kerje niari.shila tanak blang aku bila farhan kerje.

__________
what a lame reason. -_-
you get what i mean about this anus guy?he only knows how to talk what he did'nt mean.its been 3 or 4 times he say he wants to beat me up,but im still walking.maybe its just in the jenes that DKK ppl talk like this.idk.i dont understand.wanting to fight for the smallest reason possible.that is i talk behind his back.many ppl talk behind your back,you dumbass.

and one more thing,by saying all the things you say at my tagboard shows what kind of person you are.you are childish for throwing words about me that you dont knw.why cant you just put your name,?and you dont knw about my life,before you put those words,watch it,dont say what you dont mean.you wont want to call me and say you're sorry for the second time coz you're getting on my nerves.i dont want to fight for something that's not worth it,and thats you.c'mon,grow up.you would want to end this before poly starts,coz you better start worrying about your love one.

and im still wondering how a beautiful girl end up with ppl like you.it disgust me just by thinking of it. =)

remember him?he loves cock.

2008-03-12T16:04:00.003+08:00

and the coward who two and a half months ago ran away came back.he must have been feeling stronger,but the way i see it,he's still the same cock-sucking big mouth who only knws how to talk crap.i wonder if he really knows what he is up to,coz you knw-i knw-everyone knws that his bigmouth really irritates ppl more than his hand does.his accent is really funneh too,wonder how he threatens everyone he met.you see,some ppl just dont learn from lessons.i wonder how his partner stays on with him this long.i know that love is blind,but research have shown me that love can really really make you blind on both eyes.funny ppl,funny world.just when i thought this world is at peace,ppl like this come.i wonder when this world is gonna change?not with his generations of children and grandchildren coming through though.but im sure his coming generation will be ashamed of what he's done.and hey,it is ppl like him,not gays who needs a big fat dick in their mouths to satisfy them.anyone for the taking? =) XD ;)

define beauty.

2008-03-08T23:12:00.003+08:00

sometimes,when you thought you have got the dreams that you want in your hands,it slips right through and suddenly you are once again lost searching for that fallen dream.and once again,all you are left with is insecurity and a broken heart.

i dont feel sorry for myself that this dream ended,but instead i saw a shining light ahead,coz i knw behind this broken dream lies something beautiful,something more worth it.

Unopened letters to the world.

2008-03-03T23:17:00.003+08:00

in a month time,i fear of losing what i have built for the past years.you know,i know,we all knw.especially you,irya.

ass can motivate you.

2008-03-01T22:05:00.002+08:00

"with great power comes great responsibility."
who said that?if you get it right,you can kiss a horse ass.

The world through my eyes.

2008-02-24T23:58:00.003+08:00

For the past seventeen years,I always wonder of how my desires,hopes,and goals in life shall never come into being.It's not just the impossibily hopeless dreams,like becoming the most important person on planet earth,but even the simple ones-in a sense by working very hard with my heart to find the strength to achieve the feat that i had always dreamt of-like defining the real meaning of happiness or leading a perfect like,the probability to achieve this is almost zero.

My inability to speak,write and let emotions run is prolly one of the reasons to why dreams will always be dreams.Maybe it is because it is not easy as one would have thought it would be.I find it hard to believe,but the world,it is just too naked to hide its magnificiency and divinity that even my tiniest of dreams could be no less that expecting the most trivial stone to evolve to a shooting star that can produce wonders.In fact,it is really a shooting star but it is just me who blinds myself in seeing what my dream could have been.Maybe if i open up my eyes,even for a moment,I could imagine seeing the wondrous nature that lies within me.

I feel like blaming everyone for the collapse of my ownself,but to think of it,I can only blame myself for not knowing the roots of it and watering it everyday to make it grow,but rather I let it die in the most greavely manner by letting my dreams rot and decompose eventually.I fear that when i let my dreams die,it will lead me to dejection and despair one unfortunate day,making dreams difficult to reach for fear of dejection over and over again.It seems so inevitable to how unnecesary our romantic dreams have been and forevermore shall be without doubt,always.

moments.

2008-02-19T22:26:00.002+08:00

yo!ppl,hellolololololollolollo
i got into republic poly =)
and even tho' im not confident of the course im taking,i decided to give it a go.

And the star comes .

2008-02-12T03:37:00.001+08:00

yesterday,or should i say just now,was a "aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!ooooooooohhhhhhhh!!!"day at workplace coz Taufik Batisah came down to CoffeeBean to eat.we all gather around him in awe to the frustration of other customers who are quieing up to order food.for a minute,i feel so gay and feeling starstruck seeing him ard.of course,i took picture with him to add to my gay-ness.hahahaha.jk2. =)

in person,he was a humble guy without any signs of egoistic nature of a superstar.he chatted with us as if we were his friends,much to our liking of aslinda,our manager that night,who even asked him for an autograph.nyehehehe ;)

my eyes bleed.

2008-02-07T16:49:00.001+08:00

and it will be the most bizzare thing you will ever see happening at a workplace.

it ended memorably =)

2008-02-03T21:55:00.002+08:00

it was cwenn's last 2 closing shift and we gave her a great end to her management time at cbtl by sabo!ing her.end up,it was affien who got saboed the most.muahahaha it's just so fun night.and we round up the night by eating at spize.here are the pics =)

me and megat

this is what we call dishwasher ;)

the night-shifts

farhanna and cwenn

the uncandid candid

posing huh.

megat the promoter.haha.

ma'am can i have one cafe latte please?

before sabo part 1

customers who?we dont care. =)

and he was creamed!

yeah bebeh,,

can you spot the letter "F"?

and to end the night,,

goodbye cwenn,i wish you good luck in your new job.dont forget us yaw!

The truth does'nt make a noise.

2008-01-31T23:44:00.001+08:00

Have you ever wonder why life is so full of promises,but only to be punished by the tiniest mistake you made?But do you know that in every mistake you make,you are actually carving yourself to be who you are today.And sometimes you ask yourself what would you be like when you choose not to believe in yourself.Deep inside you would question and start doubting the other part of you that did not survive.What would you be like if you did not go through that phase in life that you should?Would you be someone you are not now,or would you still be the same person but are either weak or strong personally.it fills in like a chess.each step you make is vital and it will either fulfill your dreams to be who you are or land you in somewhat deep trap.what it's worth,this is why we are being brought into this ride.